Not So Funny Girl
by teenwolphs
Summary: "My life is not perfect, in fact, it is a living hell." a letter from Rachel Berry. Now a Two-Shot!


**I was really bored, and really wanted to write something involving Rachel. I'm so brain dead on One by One and Bad Decisions, so those possibly will be a while.**

**I read a wonderful story called 'Letting Go' by an author I can't remember. It is a Clique story and on my favorites list. Check it out!**

**Anyways, this will be something along the lines of that story, so enjoy!**

My life is definitely the furthest thing from perfection. I am not saying that my dads are poor, or that I have some strange disease that can be contagious. What I'm saying, is that it only takes one simple word to describe what I am currently going through right now. The word that you thought you'd never hear coming from perfect Rachel Berry's mouth.

Hell.

That is my current life definition. As I feel the cold liquid of a slushy hit my face to the bruises that began to grow from being slammed into various lockers. No one sees my obvious pain as they walk past me. They all are thinking, "That is hilarious! Poor girl!" but I see them do nothing. No one would guess that I am so ridiculed every damn day. They all think of me as the Glee girl that carries their voices in every performance, the girl that is dating the quarterback of the rising football team, or the girl that isolates herself from everyone.

Only because they can't feel my pain.

I'm the girl everyone finds crying in the bathroom because of something that has happened. I'm the girl that refused to give herself up to Noah Puckerman. I am the only girl that isn't ashamed of making something of herself so she can get the hell out of Lima. I'm the girl that all the boys find annoying and atrocious.

I'm not beautiful. My nose is hideous to look at. My skin looks greasy and my hair is always having a bad day. My boobs are too small, and my lips are huge, especially when I cry. I am growing to be overweight, and even though bulimia isn't my thing, I considered it JUST to impress everyone.

My ideal outfit is frowned upon by everyone in the school. The animal sweaters I love are told to be animal cruelty because I am wearing them. Knee socks are so 1970's, and my church shoes are outdated. I dress like a toddler that hasn't yet realized what Teen Vogue is.

I'm just not perfect. Simple as that.

_This is what I think of me._

What does everyone else see? Probably the same exact thing. Horror. When I walk down the halls, I hear the Cheerios snicker about me. You don't think I do? They make it so obvious. I hear the boys suck in a breath, as if breathing the same air as me was like poison to their lungs.

_I am a Lima Loser and always will be_

That is about all I can say at the moment. The tears pouring out of my eyes are making it impossible to write this. I try to hold them in, but they refuse to stay in, as if wanting to absorb my pain and let it stroll down my cheeks and soak into my bed sheets.

I don't have any friends, did you know that? I thought I had Glee, but they turned out to be fakes, cover ups. They never cared about me at all. All they cared about was my voice, the golden melody that took them to Sectionals, Regionals, and eventually wins Nationals. All they cared about was winning the four foot trophy now sitting in the one hall way the trophy case was in at the school. I can't even come to face the facts on why I even CALLED them my friends.

Mike, you were silent, an unheard boy that just swayed in the back as everyone had their shining moments. You are an amazing dancer, and you have the most wonderful voice. I hope we can hear it again soon.

Sam, you are the newest, and I really never knew you well. All I knew is you were a short lived quarterback and took the spotlight as Sectionals. Your blond hair reminded me too much of Bieber and your mouth was so large it scared me, as if you were going to swallow me whole. Not trying to be cruel.

Brittany, you are something so special. Your voice is amazing, and when you performed the solo at Regionals, I swear I wanted to stop singing in the background and cheer you on. You are perfection, and even though you are too blond for your own good, I love you. Not like that though!

Artie, your amazing. I can't thank you enough for being a good friend to me. I'm so sorry I was so cruel to you at the beginning of Glee, and I really wish I could take it all back. You are too sweet for your own good, and I wanted you to know that.

Mercedes. Words truly can't describe you. Your voice describes you. Your high notes are your attitude and your sweet melodies are your scared side. You rarely showed it though. I'm sorry for always stealing your solos. You deserved more of them.

Tina, you beautiful stutter fly. You, as Mercedes, are unheard talent, waiting for your time to burst out and shine. Your rendition of 'True Colors' is the best version of that song EVER, and Mike is a very lucky man to have you.

Santana. Words that come to mind are bitch, slut, and easy. You ruin everyone's lives for your own personal happiness, and it sickens me. Your heartless, and I sometimes wished that you would go to hell. I never heard one nice thing come out of your mouth.

Kurt, you lovely soprano. I sobbed when you sang 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand' to us, dedicating it to your father. Your homosexuality was frowned upon, but I though it showed your individuality. Your fashion sense kicks butt, and you were considered my second brother to me.

Puck. You are a legend. You can break a girl's heart faster than you can make her fall for you. You got to me twice, ruining my life both times. I consider you a friend, and I really hope you think about becoming a singer. You really have the talent.

Quinn, you became my best friend slowly. At first I hated you, because you had something I wanted: Finn. Then, as we bonded in Glee, you became a good friend of mine. Yes, I was so mean to you, and you were mean to me, but I think that's what brought us together.

Finn. I saved you for last for a very good reason. You pretty much changed my life. In the beginning, I thought you were the jock that had an amazing voice. A Troy Bolton cliché. I then grew to know you, and slowly fell for you. You used me so many times, but I simply forgave you, so blinded by love. You fought for me when I began dating Jesse, and when I cheated on you with Puck, I thought of you the whole time. I hated what I was doing, and I knew it was wrong, but something inside of me told me you deserved it. I'm so sorry I did that to you. I can't believe you finally forgave me, and I still can't understand why you did. I was so mean to you. You shouldn't have forgiven me.

Please don't hate me for this, but I have decided this on my own. I am ending my life tonight, and you can try to stop me, but you probably won't see this until it is much too late.

I love you all, and I hope that someday, you'll remember me for the good person I am.

I'm so sorry.

Rachel Berry *

**Thank you for reading! Reviews are so appreciated!**


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